Cesar Millan ruined my life

Have you heard of Cesar Millan – the Mexican born, internationally renowned and respected dog behaviour specialist? He is called The Dog Whisperer for his understanding of dog behaviour and dog psychology which allows him to rehabilitate the most aggressive, destructive and dominant dogs and keep them in a submissive state. It is for the first time last week that I saw his TV programme the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic (Mon-Friday, India 9pm) where he helps ordinary Americans with their dog problems. He “rehabilitates dogs and trains people” because it’s the people that also need to change their behaviour. I have become mesmerised by this man. I am totally sold on his approach. So if I’m such a fan, how did Cesar Millan ruin my life?

First he recognises that most dog owners see their dogs as children, which is a mistake. We should understand them as dogs and not humans. Dogs are animals, they do not understand human psychology  or emotions but we can attempt to understand dog psychology or mother nature. This does not mean that you should not give your dog affection. It means giving affection at the right time. Mother nature responds to energy projected, not to emotions. Your dog will not obey you if you ask him for his obedience as a favour – he has to surrender to you.

This leads on to the second premise that dogs are pack animals and dogs in the home need to be followers of the pack while the humans should become the leaders of the pack. If the dog finds that he is able to do what ever he wants in the house, has no rules, boundaries or limitations or senses an instability in his human pack and an inability to lead then he takes over to fulfill that role of the leader, which is when things go terribly wrong such as destroying the house, not listening to your commands, not behaving on his walk etc.

Cesar Millan says that a dog needs to be in a calm submissive state (sitting, lying down, ears back) and that you, the pack leader needs to project calm assertive energy in order to lead the dog or obey you and put the dog in a calm submissive state. So when you enter the house and he starts barking and jumping on you, he is actually in a dominant state. So no matter how long you’ve been away and how much you’ve missed your pooch you should ignore him, not make eye contact and wait till he has calmed down to show him how much you missed him. Otherwise you are validating his dominant behaviour by giving him affection at the time when he is being dominant.

Cesar believes in exercise first, then discipline and then affection. In one of the episodes a very destructive dog was completely changed when the family took him for a walk everyday and he was allowed to let all that destructive energy go by physically and mentally exhausting himself on the walk. Most in-home destructive behaviour or separation anxiety is caused because the dog has not been exercised enough and has way too much pent up energy. We definitely give our Abroozi exercise, 30 minutes in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. Cesar suggests 45 minutes at the minimum.So far Cesar and I are in agreement. Unfortunately in my home I think the positions of affection and discipline get interchanged too often.

Let me say upfront that our Abroozi doesn’t have any “problems” as such. He’s generally pretty well behaved. He’s never ripped up the furniture or eaten off the table. The only thing I loathe about his behaviour is that he pulls on the leash when on a walk. And according to most experts one needs to “master the walk”. Now that I’ve been an avid watcher of Cesar Millan’s TV show I want to “master the walk”, which means that the dog walks behind you or by your side and not ahead of you like Abroozi does. THis may not sound too bad but actually it is pretty severe.

My analysis is that Abroozi is a follower in the home and sees himself as a leader when we step outside. And I did not realise this until Cesar Millan entered my life. I feel that the more I listen to Mr. Millan the more inadequate I feel and the more I realise that my so called “perfect dog” could be a dominant dog. And I’m sure my dog can sense my inadequacy and doubt in myself. Where is Cesar Millan for me to ask these questions? He just puts on a TV show, shows you your flaws and then the only option you are left with is to buy his training DVDs, join his internet course or feel totally helpless. This is the problem with TV. It only shows you half the picture, giving you half the knowledge. I just continue to feel more and more inadequate and insecure around my dog. And the more I feel that, the more I am unconsciously projecting this energy and the dog can sense it.

In this past week on our walks I can feel myself being led by him, not physically (although he has always walked ahead of me) but mentally as well. He changes direction and crosses the road without waiting, which he used to do and refuses to go in the direction I want him to. I can sense all the things wrong with my behaviour, I’m not being calm and assertive. I’m getting frustrated and angry with him. I now feel inadequate taking him for a walk, I feel like he gets his way and you know what, he can sense that too.

It didn’t always used to be like this. But lately, in the last month I now realise all the other ways he has become dominant. Cesar says that rituals are important to establish authority. For instance the feeding ritual, the dog has to earn his food by obeying your command, such as sit and then he eats. Abroozi is very well behaved when it come to accepting treats or eating from my hand. But when I give Abroozi his main meal he lies down far away, waits for me to put down his food, waits for me to go to the kitchen and then he eats. Is he being dominant by eating only when he wants to and not when I want him to?

When we do yoga we would tie him up to a chair because in between our routine he would lick us, lie on the mat, lie between us which would disrupt our routine. He would fall asleep because he’d be totally exhausted from his morning walk. He would only be untied when the routine was over. This was his boundary or limitation. For the past two days he’s been sitting between us without being tied but he’s mostly quiet only sometimes licking, sniffing or pacing. Have we removed this boundary of not being with us when we are doing yoga? Does the lack of this boundary make him more dominant?

When people come to the door, visitors or repairmen and if I asked Abroozi to lie down under the chair, he would. Initially I would tie him up under the chair and then then he just learned to sit under the chair and not move till he was told to come out without being tied. Today, he refused to go under the chair. He just refused. Is he now exhibiting dominant behaviour over me by not listening to me? My reaction was completely wrong too – I allowed the person in and Abroozi had every opportunity to sniff him. He didn’t bark but he was clearly intimidating the man.

The more I think about it and the more I watch Mr.Millan, the more I see signs that Abroozi is becoming dominant in the home. And this worries me. I want to nip this behaviour in the bud now before he becomes more dominant and just rules the house. Mind you, all these changes have only happened in the past week. But the dominance on the walk has been going on for some time now. So when I return after two weeks from my  new job in the nation’s capital (more on that in another post) I am enlisting the dog trainer, Murthy who I mentioned in an earlier post. His methods might be different from Cesar’s but I’m sure he can still teach me how to channel calm assertive energy over my dog and resume the position (if I ever had it that is) of leader of the pack.

So what does my dear husband think of all this. He’s never been a fan of dog training– to him it’s live and let live and I’m over-analysing. Despite being a man of science he can’t emotionally t get on board with the concept of us being the pack leaders, although in his rational mind he knows we need to be. To him Abroozi is still just a puppy (Abroozi in now 2). However, I have noticed that on the walk he listens to my husband a little bit more than he listens to me. My husband feels that as dogs get older they get less dominant and they just want to sleep all the time. I still feel that outside the home he will be dominant no matter how old he gets. And then there’s the question of do you neuter your dog. Cesar Millan says that you must in order to have a stable pack. My husband disagrees. It’s the whole male losing his manhood thing and as a woman I have no such attachment to the danglers. In Australia you have to be a dog breeder or else your pet has to be neutered/spayed by law.

Feeling inadequate and not being the master of my domain is really dragging me down (although it has only started this week since watching Cesar Millan’s TV show). It is creeping in to other parts of my life making me resentful that I am the one who for a year and half has been taking our Abroozi for a walk every evening. I’m even questioning the pride I once had in being domestic goddess. Perhaps it’s the pressure of wanting to do well on my new job, perhaps it is my guilt at leaving my dog and husband for 2 weeks for the first time. Or as Tiny Fey on 30 Rock says, “ARRGHH….my period.”

So Cesar Millan or anyone who knows him, I doubt you are reading this but this half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge at all. You’ve left me wanting more. 5 minutes before this has gone to press my dear husband has said that by the time I’m home next week he will have our Abroozi walking to heel and totally submissive on the walk. BUT  I have to stop talking about Cesar Millan, I cannot even mention his name because guess what, it’s making my husband feel inadequate too! So he’s going to take on the challenge and train up the dog by the time I get home. And if he can’t, then I can call in the dog trainer. Watch this space…

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About nonsense girl

Galley slave, qualitative researcher working in development, married my best friend, writing about my life, my family, my dog, TV, Indian culture, astronomy and my garden. www.nonsensegirl.wordpress.com
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62 Responses to Cesar Millan ruined my life

  1. Logan says:

    wow what kinda rubbish is this? it really looks like you have, in no way, tried to actually implement Cesars methods CORRECTLY. also it sounds like you know extremely little about Animal Psychology or even practices that other trainers use. Also, dogs have been proven time and time again to ACTUALLY comprehend human emotions; how do you think we have Psychiatric Service dogs? Behavioral Service dogs? Service dogs in general? they NEED to understand their handlers in order to become Service Animals. This article is COMPLETE crap. its a farce. how DARE you write about something that you don’t even know anything about. I hope that you don’t even have any dogs in actuality. Cesar didn’t ruin your life; YOU ruined your life by fabricating this article.

  2. Aimm says:

    I’m sorry but hell it’s the dog my dog needs his help and I hope he can help me my dog kills chickens and I need him to stop

  3. Thanks says:

    I agree .just pray

  4. Ladawn Dressen says:

    Do not allow people’s ignorance upset you. People have no compassion, it shouldn’t matter the length of your story, the only reason that someone would not understand would have to be very uneducated…I truly hope the best for your family!

  5. Susane says:

    You make no sense at all and I didn’t understand a word you typed! Talking in circles is very confusing, but maybe it’s just me.

  6. Marvermaida says:

    Lady you talk a lot of nonsense, you contradict yourself, you over explain things come to overthink things,I don’t know what you’re trying to say or make people believe do you think you can do a better job? Because as far as I am concerned he’s pretty darn good at what he does , I think you have been paid to say all that bullshit to discredit him because perhaps you want his job or whoever is paying you one his job but guess what there will be only one dog whisperer and that is Cesar Milan . Goodbye for now until If you talk nonsense again,I will reply

    • Ladawn Dressen says:

      I disagree although she did talk in circles, the shows and books or anything involving this man is only the good parts! They very seldom show the segments when things don’t go as planned, that being said I loved watching him up until he contradicted himself. Although every situation is different Caesar has used his profession to make MONEY, and that is all it about. I remember the day I watched the recorded series and one he had stated not to do it!!! And then the next show he said to do it. Her point to all of this is Caesar makes people who have animals they love feel inadequate in the way they are being a companion. Her dog was well behaved except for when she walked her baby, and she trusted Cesar’s teaching, but once she used them, it made her have feeling that her baby was sensing and reacting on. I also believe she did not ask a question she made a statement and being ugly is not going to help anything or anyone. What would help is a little bit of productive advice…this what is wrong with the world today….being hateful is the first reaction that people have, instead of be kind!!!

  7. Fran trig says:

    you’re an idiot like 90% of dog owners where do you think all that dog that goes bark and bugging your neighbors summer house reading some old people are home written trying to take a nap working different ships ships you’re all idiots you can’t get a fraction from people so you try to get a fricking dog or two or three what if everybody had three dogs feel wonderful f****** world wouldn’t

  8. Kofi Silence says:

    I watched just two episodes of Caesar911, and my dog changed totally to be my assistant, follower, friend, but previously he was walking all over me. I tried being calm, always calm, then suddenly he started changing, my shepherd boar mix is now becoming submissive, thanks to Caesar. My dear, encourage yourself, you can do it. Read his book. Caesar’s way’ and you’ll get his concept, I’m on page 123.

  9. Stephanie Hauck says:

    Stop watching his show then. He did not ruined your life. It also says on the bottom of the show not to attemt these practices unless you consult a profession….get a life, lady

  10. Mia says:

    No one is all knowing. We can’t have it all. Use your own judgement but don’t judge others. I love Caesar’s methods but also use advice from other well known trainers. By the way, nonsensegirl really fits your blog. No judgement. Just observation.

  11. Sri says:

    Here is some peace of mind for you:

    The dominance theory promoted by Cesar Millan is not supported by science. Dogs don’t organize themselves like wolves. I feel bad that you are questioning your pup because of an uneducated, occasionally barbaric television personality.

    • melanie braxton says:

      I don’t know what show you have been watching,but I know you are outside of your mind and I can say that because I am a dog trainer and have been for 17 years so don’t talk about things you obviously know nothing about!!

    • Dionne says:

      Wow. Such hard words I could only wish to be as in tune with the dogs and people as him. I think you should start a show or training center of your own and show us how much education u have on this subject. Hoe can u make a commit like that and feel good about yourself? And as for her she needs help.

  12. Brittany says:

    Your husband is somewhat like my fiance, but my fiance only believes in actually hitting (more like slapping them on the flank) or yelling at them to make them stop. I showed how much dogs change with Cesar’s way and now he’s a believer. He’s not a fanatic like me, but he trusts me in my ability to train dogs. If your husband keeps saying that you shouldn’t train or spay/neuter dogs, then I would sit down and have a serious talk with him … Not only is he being biased, but he’s also ignoring the law.

  13. Gina says:

    Are you serious. ..YOU have some real issues. I guess you expect him to bend over for YOU hunh. I’ve never read such a pathetic attempt to blame anyone in my life.

    If your too cheap to buy his DVD for help then get rid of your dog!! You can’t afford to keep him and aren’t willing to do whatever it takes to correct the problem. You….are a major whinebag.

  14. Miss Cellany says:

    Your dog is NOT being dominant when it waits for you to move away before eating. He is checking to make sure you don’t want the food yourself. When you’ve gone far enough he decides “ok she clearly isnt going to eat it, I guess I can have it then.” all good dogs do this. If you then walk back towards the bowl he’ll probably stop eating and back away “oh, did you want this after all?” it’s polite dog body language. If you don’t even understand this much you really have been ruined by cesar’s bullshit about dominance.

    Pulling on the lead is not dominance – they pull because it gets them to where they want to go faster. If you never correct this they keep on doing it.
    You can retrain them by stopping dead still when they pull and refusing to move. When they turn round to find out what’s going on, and the lead slackens off, you can start walking again. Every time they pull, stop, and every time the lead slackens, start walking. It takes time, and a LOT of patience but eventually they understand that when they pull they don’t get anywhere.

    Please look up positive reinforcement. It’s scientifically proven to work, whereas cesar’s methods are based on outdated ideas that have been proven false with newer research. If you are an intelligent person, you will be able to look objectively at the facts and see that all evidence points toward’s cesar’s methods being rubbish and detrimental to your dog.

    You might find the show good viewing, but in reality a good dog training session will look boring as hell on tv. The only reason cesar is on tv is because he uses controversial harsh techniques that look dramatic.

    Please don’t buy into his rubbish, it really will ruin you AND your dog.

    • melanie braxton says:

      Sorry bruh, but I just wanted to point out that the techniques you mentioned are used by ceaser! LOL! I’ve been training rotties and pitts for 17 years and only studying his techniques for 10 years! Just wanted to point out that if the dog is waiting to eat alone,this can quickly become a food aggressive dog and I can say that because I made the same mistake with my sons service dog,so I purchased a vibration collar and problem is 90% solved,however you must remember that it takes four months of consistent work to have a problem dog completely trained! Not arguing with you,just wanted to point out that even ceaser Milan is human! He actually tried to kill himself when his wife, illusion ask for a divorce and since the details of his divorce are never to be seen as a part of the settlement, he was probably just being a DOG himself! We are all human! just as a last note, unless you eat out of your DOGS bowl, they know it’s their food! P.S , do you have dog training experience as in PROFESSIONAL, I do and you can not reason with a dog,they don’t use common sense and a quick tug of the leash or a light tap btw the ribs and back leg is in no way harsh or cruel, the cruel part is not having a well balanced dog ,as this makes for an unhappy dog and owner! Try watching him on ceaser 911 as it’s much more detailed and easier to see how he actually does it! I was trained by a navy seal and with all his knowledge, he will admit that only ceaser can handle over a hundred dogs, off lease and no problems! But seriously you should watch the new show as it’s detailed step by step and sorry for calling you bruh as I just noticed you are a lady!

    • Ladawn Dressen says:

      I agree!!!!

  15. Kim says:

    Are YOU F@$% Serious girl? omg I’ve read some BS in my life but yours my DEAR takes the cake. Are you on meds? No? Then go, run, not walk to a doctor for some meds for the INSANE and share them with you husband. And Go back to being a Domestic Goddess LOL more like a fat butt sitting on her couch complaining about a man who has dedicated his LIFE to dogs.
    I’ll pray for your poor Abroozi and his weak minded blame Cesar for you and your husbands inadequate ability to be the LEADER…….

    • from ur comment i gather that u have not actually read my post or taken the title in the spirit it was intended.I’ve said that CM ruined my life because he opened my eyes to my failings. i’d urge u to take a balanced view of life, u seem quite tense.

      • shea1969 says:

        It sounds like you are literally laying blame on him…..re read.

      • Veru Martin says:

        Shut the f$&@ up. It’s more like you became a weaker, dumber human being by fixating on all the negative things and you chose to blame it on a man who devotes his life to these animals. You do in fact take the d@mn cake. Go get help. Wow… Just.. Wow

      • melanie braxton says:

        I knew exactly what you mean, I had the same problem with my husband and so I made the decision to make it work with out his help and bought a vibration collar and problem is 90% solved with husband and dog! I have been training dogs myself for 17 years and the dog is waiting for you to leave, so he can eat alone and that almost always causes food aggregation as my sons service dog had a similar problem with food aggression! The way I feed him is to first lease him , just incase he guards his food and I when he became comfortable eating with me at his side I started holding his bowl up to him so I could give and then remove the bowl away from him and then give it back! After that was working 100% I then started to pet him and give affection while he eats and when you get that down then u just test him about once a week to make sure he understands that your not going to take his food without giving it right back as long as he has no problem with you touching him while eating or removing and giving his food right back! Just breathe and remember don’t take the behavior personally as it’s just instincts and you’ll do great! I know this works as this is the only dog I’ve ever had with food aggression and I’ve been training dogs a long time, thought I knew something until ceaser made me see, I knew absolutely nothing! LOL!

      • Stephanie Hauck says:

        Why are you saying that CM ruined your life. That is the most BS i have ever heard. Just like i said before….STOP WATCHING HIS SHOWS THEN. It says on the bottom of his show, do not attempt to practice unless you consukt an professional. Non sense all the way around

    • Jessica says:

      Are you fucking serious.. you sound like a fucking nutcase. And here you are sounding like a complete psycho telling the original poster how to behave or asking her if she’s on meds while clearly you are fucking insane.. please go see a doctor, your behavior is scary…

      • Gina says:

        Agreed. This broad is off her rocker , completely! What a waste of 5 minutes of my life I can never get back…sell your dog and go get a therapist. You are mental beyond comprehension. Some things you just can’t unsee. Oh how I wish I could.

    • shea1969 says:

      She definitely needs a boost if this show is making her feel inadequate.Holy shit. Talk about passing the buck, poor dog!!!!

    • Ladawn Dressen says:

      Get a life!!! It amazes me how you can call someone weak…when you are just as weak, attacking someone that is apparently upset that she’s losing her connection with her baby because she followed Caesar way of training!!! Amazes me what some humans are capable of saying. You have u a wonderful day!

  16. LaureN says:

    I have an idea. Don’t watch the show and learn how to change your perspective better.

  17. dan says:

    your just weak. both your ideas and your husbands are relavant but you still need to be the leader.

    • Miss Cellany says:

      You’re*

      She’s not weak, she’s questioning herself which is what smart people do. Even Einstein constantly second guessed himself. Only idiots never change their minds or imagine that they could be wrong.

      • Gina says:

        The difference between ass kissing and brown nosing is…..
        DEPTH PERCEPTION.

        Even dogs know you don’t shit where you eat lady…ring any bells.

  18. JG says:

    wow Ceasar is great i think your just over reacting

  19. Chrissy Clark says:

    Most people who have dogs have either one or two, so they are wouldn’t deal with lots of different behaviours. But if the rules and boundaries which dogs NEED are the same for every dog any size,age, shape, breed, to become relaxed in a home environment , as the owner is in charge so they don’t have to take that role on. Do not allow your dog pace up and down , frequently sniff or annoy your visitors, that’s bad management on your behalf. Give the dog has a mat or place to lie down and be at peace, then it is easier for friends and family to visit as you are in charge of your dogs behaviour, no one alse but you, and since reading and watching Ceasar’s methods you too can have common sense! Walking the dog can be challenging but you set the rules and the pace , the dog would rather let you lead, but if he pulls or sniffs at the ground untill you give him that opportunity, then you are at fault,as you haven’t mastered leadership. It’s mind over matter, get with it or don’t have a dog. It’s not about science and emotions, it’s leadership. parenting, dogs have teeth, someone has to have control, your dog , you have to own the control in the dogs behaviour in the home and down the street. That’s not rocket science.

    • Larry Corbin says:

      I agree with most of what you say but, most dogs want to run, they have unused energy, that why they poll on there leash, it’s not about leadership,
      Leadership or the alpha dog comes with who can take who down down and show belly, a sign of submissiveness, you ll notice that puppies will do this when there mothers corrects them.
      Now why your dog polls on the leash, it’s simple, they want to run, my pit mix, Nikki, and my Rott Bella, I have to load them in the car, I go out to an isolated place an open stretch of road that about a mile, and run them, the Rott is good for a couple of laps, then needs water and is done, Nikki needs about 6 laps, I normally, then turn the exercise from that to a stimulation time for them. I allow them to roam freely in the desert ware i run them. So I know that when there on a leash what they want to do, they want to run and then be stimulated,and some times because of time that can’t be done ,
      My pit who wants to run, I already know he has a lot unused energy,
      And until he gets a little older and a bit slower, it’s something we work on.
      Now my Rott she does that for maybe 5 min, and then begins to relax and walks on the side. You have to really know your dogs.
      I wish my problem was as easy as a walking problem,
      Here try this one, both my dogs are gentle towards people, but other dogs forget about it, they want to attack it and kill it, that’s one of the reason I take them out in the middle of know ware, I can’t take a chance of them hurting another animal. I am not sure how to change this behavior from them. The other day I took a family members puppy to see if the puppy would have a effect on the my dogs and even the puppy sounds had no effect! So I am in search if answers, it’s important to me, that they stop attacking other animals. Not just because of law suites , but I love animals . So I’ll keep searching, respond if you a have a positive idea ! But please I really don’t care to your negative bs, namely most of u have no problem getting al tough on line. But are not so much in person. If you would not tell me to my face then please don’t respond on line. Besides your either part of the problem or part of the solution. Hope to hear back with some ideas.

  20. gkorula says:

    Perhaps you should all read what happened after I wrote this post in: https://nonsensegirl.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/cesr-millan-i-need-u-no-more/

    • me says:

      I did read that, that’s why I didn’t give you advice. It’s wonderful that you guys were able to work out the issues.

    • melanie braxton says:

      I think all the hateful idiots who replied so ugly and cruel should stick with what they know and it’s obviously not reading COMPREHENSION!

  21. Sadie says:

    Please don’t feel bad. Your dog is not tryIng to “dominate” you. This is a myth. Cesar Millan has hundreds of organizations (thousands of individuals) in the professional dog training and behaviour field criticizing him (and warning people against taking his advice) for perpetuating this rubbish, using abusive, out-dated techniques and now apparently making owners feel inadequate 😦
    These articles will explain more:
    http://www.dogwelfarecampaign.org/press-statement.php
    http://www.4pawsu.com/dogpsychology.htm
    http://www.4pawsu.com/cesarfans.
    Happy reading 🙂

    • Dear Nonsense Girl, I have to agree with Sadie and I beg of you do to some research about this. I used to be a huge Cesar fan WAAY back when and now regret every single action I performed with dogs while believing Cesar, after doing research of my own I have realized how misguided and downright cruel it is and I regret nothing more in my life than this. It ruined my relationship with my dogs. Are you finding that all of a sudden you don’t enjoy activities with them anymore that you used to love? All of a sudden you can’t just hang out with them and enjoy their company because you feel you have to constantly be on alert for dominance behaviour? Do little things like walking through a door all of a sudden become a huge stressor?

      Please trust me and you will get your loving, reciprocal relationship back with your dog. Read these: For the Love of a Dog by Patricia McConnell; In Defence of Dogs by John Bradshaw; Inside of a Dog by Alexandra Horowitz, they are books but they are written to be absolutely enjoyable and I couldn’t put them down. You will feel enlightened and like an entirely new person. Also visit, http://beyondcesarmillan.weebly.com/ for names of people and organisations and links to both that you can get heaps of info from.

    • melanie braxton says:

      Idiot! Nuff said! You’re obviously not a professional dog trainer, so stick with what you know and it’s obviously not dog behavior!

  22. Kim and Asher says:

    Spunds like you have a training issue reather than a dominance issue. Loose leash walking is not hard to train (but may take some time to proof).

    It also sounds like your dog has learned that certain behaviors ore for in the house and outhers for outside. Dogs don’t generalize well, that is why we proof.

    Of course, I could be wrong. I greet my own 6 and 2 fosters with enthusiasm whenever I see them. I let them chose when to engage me and always reward them for doing so because I want to be the most rewarding thing in their little lives. They gte the best resting places in the house and I will move to accomodate them. I let them walk ahead of me, aside of me or behind me as long as the leash is loose. They eat before I do. They may go out the door before me as long as they check in after they have crossed the threshold. I center my life around them and give them plenty of affection whenever they want it. They ARE my babies.

    I basically do it all wrong. Maybe I should be afraid. Never know when they are going to get together, hatch a plan, steal the car keys and the checkbook and joyride over to the Pet Supply Plus, right? If you don’t hear from me again, you can assume my dominate dogs have taken me hostage 😉

    Seriously, worry less about dominance. Instead, think about what you DO want, then teach your dog to do it. And if you all are happy with your relationship, then you are doing something right.

    Sign
    Kim
    APDT RALLY Master Champion Asher (former HA foster failure)
    APDT Rally Champion Demon
    Angel, CGC
    Princess
    Puppy Mill rescue Merlin
    Puppy Mill rescue and foster failure Kaluha
    And fosters Ty and Tango.

  23. mio says:

    Just the Way you descriebe I went on with my dog for a while, I got more angry, cause I dif believe my dog was dominant and was taking a place as packleader. It was all over my head and every step my dog took, I could see that he tried to be dominant. One day the dog showed me the way out of it , he did not Wang o be close to me, he did obey very slow, and I wanted him to Do it fast in competitions. Now I am no longer angry, I am happy, not believe in dominating, no longer being a bully, my dogs loves to be with Me, walking in leash just how I want, they Do amazing things and they are no longer passive dogs. Look at your dog, what Do you see? it is a living being that tries to understand you, back of and be a human, accept that you cannot be a packleader, we dont have de same bodylanguage,

    • mio says:

      And we do not have the same skills… But we live together, take and give, we learn our dogs good behaviors, but then we have to behave good to, not being bullys. It is a reliefing to not think of dominance, and I will never do it again.

  24. Before adopting any further changes, read the book, Dog Sense (published as In Defence of Dogs in the UK and some other countries) by John Bradshaw. It is science-based and shows which training methods are most likely to work with dogs and be best for your relationship with dogs. Relationships built on good communication, positive feedback, and mutual respect are the ones that are likely to be most satisfying to people and their dogs. The recent studies of oxytocin in people and their dogs (see Meg Olmert’s book, Made for Each Other) show that positive interactions (and not dominance-based ones) are the best way to go. I’m both a human psychologist and certified dog behavior consultant. If you look for a trainer, find one who uses positive, reward-based (and science-based, too!) methods. You won’t be sorry.

    • Courtney says:

      Ignore the Positive Reinforcement zealots- they have a lot of time because most of them are either out of work or hardly bother to actually train their dogs. They are basically your good old internet troll.

      The best method is what works best for your dog and you. Join a dog forum/ contact Obedience clubs/ Agility clubs/ breeders- anyone who works with/ spends a lot of time with dogs- they usually will have at least the name of one or 2 behaviourists they can suggest to you in your local area.

      Remember that the definition of a well trained dog differs for many people. Also expectations differ. For example – I am aiming to compete in Obedience which means that on a walk my dog must be heeling nicely on my left hand side/ must learn to sit the moment I draw my left leg to a close with my right leg. However for my friend who is simply a pet owner and has no desire to join the world of competitive Obedience- the requirement on walk for her dogs is to be loose lead but they are allowed in front of her/ to her side/ slightly behind her.

      Good luck in finding a behaviourist.

      • melanie braxton says:

        Best comment I’ve read on this site and thank you for not being mean to the lady as all the others were!

  25. me says:

    Dominance issues in dogs is rarely ever a cause for this misbehavior as dogs are not part of some big conspiracy to take over our world and dominate us. Check out http://beyondcesarmillan.weebly.com/ to see what the real experts at the top of the dog psychology and behavior fields have to say about Cesar Millan and his dominance theories. These people are backed by science, education, training, research and other things, all of which Cesar did not have. Cesar interacted with dogs on his grandfather’s farm as a CHILD, came over here and groomed dogs for a while and then started on his quest to dominate every dog that he comes across and bestowed titles upon himself, such as dog psychologist, behaviorists, etc., because he is allowed to by law, NOT because he has the qualifications.

    • gkorula says:

      I’ll definitely check out that link as I’m always interested in knowing more about what we think dogs are up to in their heads. My husband will agree with you on the dominance issue – his constant response to any odd ball behaviour is, “…but he’s just a little puppy.”

    • melanie braxton says:

      Wrong again, he doesn’t dominate,dogs do out of frustration! Dominating would be physically hurting the dog! Btw , he rehabilitates dogs,without charge! He train’s people,maybe someone can train you to watch more than one episode?

  26. Pingback: Cesar Millan, I need U no more « nonsense girl

    • Angel says:

      I think your making a mountain out of a mo hill? Cesar came to my home and he helped me with my problem, my mastive, with in twenty mintues he was submissive and even more loving. And he stopped attacking the vet? I’m open to reading anything and it does get upsetting when your animals don’t behave. But I do believe in Mr. Millan he has a gift and he is not abusive my dog bit him twice and he didn’t beat the dog or yell? If it has gotton so bad make a video of your dog and go to one of the auditions that is how I got him to come to my home but I also have to tell you ,Cesar doesn’t know anything about the dog or you he comes in blind and just watches and discusses with you the problem.And it was me because I was going threw alot of stress, he has taught me how to be clam and show my dog whom is boss. The man carrys an ora a clamness which is heart claming I believe one should get to know him or meet him before you make judgement .

      • gkorula says:

        Glad you had success with Mr.Milan. I do admire and concur with his brand of dog psychology (especially the importance of exercise) and he has taught me a lot of things. My dog has become a total gem. He is so well behaved now, especially on the walk. And yes, it is definitely about the owner’s or handler’s mental state. That I totally agree on. I think this piece was slightly tongue in cheek as well… Sadly, we don’t get to see his show on National Geographic in India anymore. Hopefully they will re-start it. Thanks for reading tho!

      • me says:

        Yes, he’s very good at forcing dogs into a state of learned helplessness. Few dogs can resist when you keep adding more and more force.

        It’s sad that this is what you want for your dog. I prefer well behaved and HAPPY dogs. Dogs that aren’t suppressed.

      • gkorula says:

        I think you have to take all this with a good dose of common sense. Use what works for you, ditch the rest and use your moral compass. There are some basics that Cesar does well – i’m not advocating ALL his techniques but he’s not all wrong either. People who are too wedded to one idea and not flexible are also a little too suppressed

    • me says:

      His basics that he does well aren’t new ideas. He’s right in that dogs need exercise, a calm owner, consistency, and a few other tidbits.

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